Ninie Ahmad: Off her yoga mat.

Please please please pretty please help me
tell your friends, your husband, your neighbours, YOUR DOCTOR and your cats that
YOGA IS NOT ALL ABOUT STRETCHING!

My prayers that your friends, your husband and your neighbours
(since your wife and girlfriend might have already told you that
their natural flexibility is not enough to rock their first yoga class.
And I excluded your cats since we actually learned Cat Pose from them..)
will be ready to explore the possibilities of greatness within them soon. If not this month.

Love and Hello Kitty!

I keep rewatching Dharma Mittra’s YouTube that I posted in my previous post and his soft voice whispering,

“According to the quality of the student, they are attracted to the right guru. Those who are sincere, seeking enlightenment, full of reverence, not criticizing anyone – they attract the right guru.”

..and I realized something.

I remember the years when I first started teaching yoga somewhere in year 2000, I was attracted if not addicted to my first yoga teacher as she struck me as someone really smart, beautiful, generous, strong and everything I wanted to be in an 18-year-old mind and body.

If I were any good in my early years of teaching yoga, I fully credit the strong foundation I earned from my first yoga teacher. If I had a good eye for alignment, it was mostly from being under her tutelage for years. Unfortunately, we had a fallout and I sold my soul to the devil in a form of a giant yoga chain in Malaysia.

Over a couple of years that I was constantly being featured on local publications as ‘celebrity yoga teacher’, I was under my own  impression (if not delusion) that I was already the teacher I have always wanted to be – when I was not even close to being anyone’s celebrated yoga teacher if you strip me off my shell of tiny shiny stripey yoga clothes and fancy schmancy yoga poses. I was one of the great yoga poseurs.

I thought when I nailed Headstand, I was ready to teach others. I figured I could do most arm balancings on my two hands, I was better than some other teachers who couldn’t. My greediness, hunger for validation and intention of spreading my gift of yoga back then were far from the alignment of what made me want to be a yoga teacher in the beginning – to heal people like how yoga healed me.

I am not proud to advertise the fact that – I used to be a smoking yoga teacher. I started ’speeding up the process of killing myself’ (that was what my mom said when she first caught me) at the age of 18. I was really young and everybody around me in Bangsar and in uni smoked back then. I was also in relationships and friendships that were unhealthy for me and I held on long enough to have seemed like I did not care and love myself enough.

Looking back now, no wonder I attracted a lot of beautiful, famous, kindhearted nonetheless smokers as my yoga students (and former boyfriends) back around year 2003 – 2008.

I might have been a yoga ‘instructor’ (a pretty Google-able one at that) but I knew that I did not deserve to be called a yoga teacher / guru.

In the origin language of yoga, Guru means ‘the remover of the darkness’ or ‘the one who sheds light’. I might have been ‘instructing’ step-by-step to sun salutation, but I did not dare speak nor preach about ‘life’, ‘happiness’, ‘light’, ‘non-cruelty’ in my classes many years ago as I knew that, I was not ‘living the life’ and ‘walking the talk.’

How could I shed the light when I was the one offering them the lighter?

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Special yoga teachers have mysterious ways to sneak into your life, inspire you with their kindness and show you the ‘light’ when you are ready.

In 2007, I first met Dharma Mittra, one of the most respected living yoga teachers who has turned thousands of people off meat just by attending his yoga class. As if my (unlit) stars were up, the week I felt I was ready to stop turning my lungs into tar balloons and my body from being a cemetery for dead cows, I was assigned to interview him for an article aptly titled, ‘What Makes A Good Yoga Teacher?’ and his first line to me was, “You have to stop killing animals and yourself” when he did not even know that I was still a meat-eating and cigarette smoking yoga teacher.

Dharma Mittra & I (2007, photo by Tom Hayton)

The power of a great teacher, from the first day I met Dharma Mittra until today, I have successfully stopped eating slaughtered animals and shortafter, I swore to never smoke cigarette anymore to stop inviting cancer cells to multiply in my body when I have invested so much time and energy on my mat to achieve almost equilibrium state of health.

I then and until now, aspire to lead my classes, teach yoga to people like Dharma. With kindness, smiles, humour and inspirations, maybe nowhere close to Dharma’s teaching and dedication but I figured if I am one of the lucky ones to have been touched by Dharma Mittra, he must have seen something in me, or maybe beyond me (my first, middle and last name means ‘The Highest Light of Enlightenment’, how did Dharma realize that – I have no idea. Thank you Allah Almighty, the highest power behind the Universe for the gift of yoga and all of my yoga teachers for making me realize why am I in this lifetime for).

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I am grateful for everyone who have been to my classes since year 2000 until yesterday.

With addition to all my amazing yoga teachers (and some yoga instructors) that I have met and learned from over the recent years, I learn tremendously a lot from all of my students. The more students I have taught, the more happiness I brought, the better teacher I got (to be).

I don’t know if I finally deserve to be called a yoga teacher today, but I do know that I am definitely a better teacher today than I was 12 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago and yesterday. If you did not favour my teaching instructing then, come to my class today. I am back to sharing the healing light of yoga and to help you awaken your mind and body’s infinite wisdom to heal yourself.

Love and light at Upward (August 2011)

I know this much because I see a different crowd and yoga students at Upward since we opened July last year compared to the overall quality of students coming to my classes at all the different yoga centres I have taught at. Everyone that has been coming and keeps coming to Upward today is very kind, very strong, very honest, very clean, very enthusiastic, very punctual and very loving.

In my optimistic mind, I would like to think that it is because I am more kind, stronger, more honest, more punctual and more loving now – therefore I attract my same kind nowadays.

And you wonder what brought you here..

Heart and light of Upward (December 2011)

My gratitude for accepting and for shining my light.

A couple of days ago, a Twitter follower Mentioned to me an important question about learning yoga and below is my answer.

My class at Balispirit Festival 2010

Hi Izwan,

Thank you for having me in mind to answer such an interesting question.

To answer, ’should we really engage a yoga teacher to learn yoga?’:
In my humble opinion – YES.

On the physical aspect of yoga asanas (poses),
unless you really know what you are doing in terms of

• alignment
• readiness
• safety,

going to a yoga class and learning yoga from a reputable and experienced teacher (I choose to use the these two words to describe a good teacher instead of ‘certified’. Almost everyone I know now goes for yoga teacher training course after only practicing for a couple of years or even months..) IS THE ONLY WAY to know that you are doing it right, safely and that ensures you will get the benefits of the poses, instead of injury, ego and arrogance. If it’s all about acrobatics, showing off and competing one’s physical ability, we could all go take up breakdancing and gymnastics, right?

On personal development’s growth (since yoga is not all physical, you do know it involves black magic and religions too right? Kidding..), again, a yoga teacher (instead of ‘yoga instructor / personal trainer’) is important as yoga is a technology of happiness and the only workout that you can do for as long as you are still breathing – you’d want to have some inspirations of ‘walking and talking’ yoga teachers that also reflect yoga (healthy, kind, humble, non-violent, loving) even when they are not on their yoga mats.

This YouTube of Dharma Mittra, one of my yoga teachers that influenced a lot of my teaching, eating and lifestyle in the recent years, speaks for me.

There is this saying that I love repeating,
‘When the student is ready, the teacher appears.’

If you feel like you are looking for a teacher, I’d like to believe that it’s your subconscious’ intelligence signalling that you are ready

To start, (from Upward’s Yoga FAQ page) open your heart to trying different yoga styles until you find the one (or two) that suits your liking and the yoga teacher(s) that can guide as they inspire you.

All the best!

A simple and humble space like Upward allows me

• to create a yoga practice space I have always wanted to practice at
• to share the lineage of teaching and words of wisdom I am desperate to share
• to decorate the space to look and feel more me – intimidatingly friendly, sentimentally colourful and hopelessly optimistic
• and – to still be very much involved in whole works of detoxifying, energizing and recharging the space (see – how cleaning, scrubbing and mopping the floor can still sound so much fun? )

My gratitude to Instagram for making my little baby seem like the coolest new place in.. errr, Subang?

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I thank you for arriving at least 10 minutes ahead of class time.

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I create a space we can discover the best body and mind we can be.

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I be the change I want to see in every Changing Room.

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I have mastered 1-Minute Headstand & Shower. I am positive you will too.

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Complimentary homemade organic thirst quencher in no-plastic environment.

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A simple reminder (for myself) to appreciate free things around us.

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If you’d like to hear more about my vision for Upward,
I’ll be LIVE on Bella at ntv7 (Astro CH107) at 11.30am today (Thursday, July 28th)

OR,

simply be at Upward at least 10 minutes before classtime so we can practice yoga together, heal ourselves and make our community happier.

411 on class schedule, fees, location and basic yoga FAQs can be found at our website.
No registration fee, no contract, no mirrors – just us all bending down, reflecting in and going up(ward).

Peace, love and light.

As many (or errr.. all?) of you might have heard from a little bird tweeting around,
I have recently launched my new baby called

inspired by my favourite yoga studios in NYC.

The idea of bringing home pieces of New York City’s best yoga studios and teachings came to me during my first ‘fashionable spiritual journey’ to NYC last year.

In NYC, I experienced some of the most challenging, heart-opening and humbling classes I have ever been to. In some of my favourites (namely Dharma Mittra Yoga Centre, Kula Yoga Project, Laughing Lotus and Strala) I noticed how the yoga classes I learned most from – are eco-friendly, not mirrored and less fancy compared to the studios I have taught at in Asia.

I realized how the students (and yours truly) in the non-mirrored yoga class align ourselves with how we feel within instead of what we see in the mirror; reflection of doubt, judgment, distraction and competition.

I also feel that the simpler interior of the yoga studios in NYC is more organic to the core of yoga fundamental as having more ‘things’ around us while we practice will distract us from valuing yoga’s most important essence (breaths, sensation, contentment) and most likely will lead us to feeling attached to worldly possessions and wanting more material entities that we do not necessarily have to accumulate.

Today marks our tenth day of opening and we have received nothing but amazing vibes and positive responses from aspiring yogis all around that have visited our humble little space.

For class schedule, fees and location, do check out

http://upwardyoga.com

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With lotus feet and open heart, I am proud to announce – Upward offers the most affordable and flexible yoga class in town.

At ONLY RM30 PER CLASS (all classes are at least 75 minutes in duration to give longer time for relaxation and healing process to happen in Savasana) and with NO CONTRACT and NO REGISTRATION FEE, we strive on giving you a space to practice yoga beyond the poses.

Can’t wait to see most of you at Upward and I’m going to leave you with a little something that my little brother helped shoot and I edited myself.

See you in Downward at Upward real soon!