Ahhhhh, I am so proud of my husband!
Did you hear him advising our friend,
“Bend your knees (before lifting anything light or heavy from the floor)”?

I love hearing my words from my yoga classes being repeated by my husband.
Well, except the times when I complain to him that Canada is too cold and he replies with,
“Anything that doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger if not more patient, remember?” )

Now if you can pretend that you didn’t hear anything about robbing some banks..

My prayers that your friends, your husband and your neighbours
(since your wife and girlfriend might have already told you that
their natural flexibility is not enough to rock their first yoga class.
And I excluded your cats since we actually learned Cat Pose from them..)
will be ready to explore the possibilities of greatness within them soon. If not this month.

Love and Hello Kitty!

“According to the quality of the student, they are attracted to the right guru. Those who are sincere, seeking enlightenment, full of reverence, not criticizing anyone – they attract the right guru.”

..and I realized something.

I remember the years when I first started teaching yoga somewhere in year 2000, I was attracted if not addicted to my first yoga teacher as she struck me as someone really smart, beautiful, generous, strong and everything I wanted to be in an 18-year-old mind and body.

If I were any good in my early years of teaching yoga, I fully credit the strong foundation I earned from my first yoga teacher. If I had a good eye for alignment, it was mostly from being under her tutelage for years. Unfortunately, we had a fallout and I sold my soul to the devil in a form of a giant yoga chain in Malaysia.

Over a couple of years that I was constantly being featured on local publications as ‘celebrity yoga teacher’, I was under my own  impression (if not delusion) that I was already the teacher I have always wanted to be – when I was not even close to being anyone’s celebrated yoga teacher if you strip me off my shell of tiny shiny stripey yoga clothes and fancy schmancy yoga poses. I was one of the great yoga poseurs.

I thought when I nailed Headstand, I was ready to teach others. I figured I could do most arm balancings on my two hands, I was better than some other teachers who couldn’t. My greediness, hunger for validation and intention of spreading my gift of yoga back then were far from the alignment of what made me want to be a yoga teacher in the beginning – to heal people like how yoga healed me.

I am not proud to advertise the fact that – I used to be a smoking yoga teacher. I started ’speeding up the process of killing myself’ (that was what my mom said when she first caught me) at the age of 18. I was really young and everybody around me in Bangsar and in uni smoked back then. I was also in relationships and friendships that were unhealthy for me and I held on long enough to have seemed like I did not care and love myself enough.

Looking back now, no wonder I attracted a lot of beautiful, famous, kindhearted nonetheless smokers as my yoga students (and former boyfriends) back around year 2003 – 2008.

I might have been a yoga ‘instructor’ (a pretty Google-able one at that) but I knew that I did not deserve to be called a yoga teacher / guru.

In the origin language of yoga, Guru means ‘the remover of the darkness’ or ‘the one who sheds light’. I might have been ‘instructing’ step-by-step to sun salutation, but I did not dare speak nor preach about ‘life’, ‘happiness’, ‘light’, ‘non-cruelty’ in my classes many years ago as I knew that, I was not ‘living the life’ and ‘walking the talk.’

How could I shed the light when I was the one offering them the lighter?

.   .   .   .   .   .   .

Special yoga teachers have mysterious ways to sneak into your life, inspire you with their kindness and show you the ‘light’ when you are ready.

In 2007, I first met Dharma Mittra, one of the most respected living yoga teachers who has turned thousands of people off meat just by attending his yoga class. As if my (unlit) stars were up, the week I felt I was ready to stop turning my lungs into tar balloons and my body from being a cemetery for dead cows, I was assigned to interview him for an article aptly titled, ‘What Makes A Good Yoga Teacher?’ and his first line to me was, “You have to stop killing animals and yourself” when he did not even know that I was still a meat-eating and cigarette smoking yoga teacher.

Dharma Mittra & I (2007, photo by Tom Hayton)

The power of a great teacher, from the first day I met Dharma Mittra until today, I have successfully stopped eating slaughtered animals and shortafter, I swore to never smoke cigarette anymore to stop inviting cancer cells to multiply in my body when I have invested so much time and energy on my mat to achieve almost equilibrium state of health.

I then and until now, aspire to lead my classes, teach yoga to people like Dharma. With kindness, smiles, humour and inspirations, maybe nowhere close to Dharma’s teaching and dedication but I figured if I am one of the lucky ones to have been touched by Dharma Mittra, he must have seen something in me, or maybe beyond me (my first, middle and last name means ‘The Highest Light of Enlightenment’, how did Dharma realize that – I have no idea. Thank you Allah Almighty, the highest power behind the Universe for the gift of yoga and all of my yoga teachers for making me realize why am I in this lifetime for).

.  .  .  .  .  .  .

I am grateful for everyone who have been to my classes since year 2000 until yesterday.

With addition to all my amazing yoga teachers (and some yoga instructors) that I have met and learned from over the recent years, I learn tremendously a lot from all of my students. The more students I have taught, the more happiness I brought, the better teacher I got (to be).

I don’t know if I finally deserve to be called a yoga teacher today, but I do know that I am definitely a better teacher today than I was 12 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago and yesterday. If you did not favour my teaching instructing then, come to my class today. I am back to sharing the healing light of yoga and to help you awaken your mind and body’s infinite wisdom to heal yourself.

Love and light at Upward (August 2011)

I know this much because I see a different crowd and yoga students at Upward since we opened July last year compared to the overall quality of students coming to my classes at all the different yoga centres I have taught at. Everyone that has been coming and keeps coming to Upward today is very kind, very strong, very honest, very clean, very enthusiastic, very punctual and very loving.

In my optimistic mind, I would like to think that it is because I am more kind, stronger, more honest, more punctual and more loving now – therefore I attract my same kind nowadays.

And you wonder what brought you here..

Heart and light of Upward (December 2011)

My gratitude for accepting and for shining my light.

My class at Balispirit Festival 2010

Hi Izwan,

Thank you for having me in mind to answer such an interesting question.

To answer, ’should we really engage a yoga teacher to learn yoga?’:
In my humble opinion – YES.

On the physical aspect of yoga asanas (poses),
unless you really know what you are doing in terms of

• alignment
• readiness
• safety,

going to a yoga class and learning yoga from a reputable and experienced teacher (I choose to use the these two words to describe a good teacher instead of ‘certified’. Almost everyone I know now goes for yoga teacher training course after only practicing for a couple of years or even months..) IS THE ONLY WAY to know that you are doing it right, safely and that ensures you will get the benefits of the poses, instead of injury, ego and arrogance. If it’s all about acrobatics, showing off and competing one’s physical ability, we could all go take up breakdancing and gymnastics, right?

On personal development’s growth (since yoga is not all physical, you do know it involves black magic and religions too right? Kidding..), again, a yoga teacher (instead of ‘yoga instructor / personal trainer’) is important as yoga is a technology of happiness and the only workout that you can do for as long as you are still breathing – you’d want to have some inspirations of ‘walking and talking’ yoga teachers that also reflect yoga (healthy, kind, humble, non-violent, loving) even when they are not on their yoga mats.

This YouTube of Dharma Mittra, one of my yoga teachers that influenced a lot of my teaching, eating and lifestyle in the recent years, speaks for me.

There is this saying that I love repeating,
‘When the student is ready, the teacher appears.’

If you feel like you are looking for a teacher, I’d like to believe that it’s your subconscious’ intelligence signalling that you are ready

To start, (from Upward’s Yoga FAQ page) open your heart to trying different yoga styles until you find the one (or two) that suits your liking and the yoga teacher(s) that can guide as they inspire you.

All the best!

I also know

• half a dozen female Malaysian celebrities in their mid-30s who chain smoke, drink Coke like water and party everyday like it’s Saturday, yet they still look younger than me
• my mom at 54 (and with seven children and does not exercise) looks younger than some of my seniors who were former athletes from my boarding school
• my dad at 57 (and only eats free-range eggs and has not eaten chicken or anything canned for as long as I could remember) looks younger than Rosyam Nor who is only 45. And errr, in fact I think my dad actually looks a lot like Rosyam Nor Rosyam Nor looks like my dad, a lot..

The Ahmads

I don’t know about looking younger but I do know that the oldest Malaysian is a vegetarian (and THAT I don’t want to look like Nigella Lawson in her swimming suit).

.  .  .  .  .

I can only speak for myself and look up to vegetarian yoga teachers being masters to their own body at their 70’s and 90’s with no health issues and rocking arm balancing like there’s no tomorrow.

93-years-old Tao Porchon-Lynch

73-years-old Dharma Mittra

I keep doing what I have been doing and I keep eating (or not) what I have (and not) been eating as
when I grow up, I want to be and look just like them.

Love and long life (to all humans and animals).

For Christmas 2011, my ’stocking’ looked like this

Among the things I found in my stocking for Christmas were

organic (and fat-free!) Yogi Chips

organic chocolate bars

organic toothpaste and socks (rock!)

a table calendar

enlightening books

another Power-Y tank (hooray to NOT having to wear bra to yoga anymore!)

..and this beyond cute water bottle!

See, I’m not that complicated a girl.

Give me

• anything Lululemon organic
• paraben-free cleansers and BPA-free bottles
• not fur coats and not leather bags (yes, I only carry cheap handbags..)
• non-genetically modifed (GMO) fruits and colouring free snacks (without corn syrup please!)

and I am one happy Ninie

See you back at Upward this week!
Love and light.

If it’s not obvious enough, evidently I am not one of those pure yogis who support the boycott of Lululemon for their ‘Designed In Vancouver, Made In China‘ frenzy (if you live in Asia like me, are you really going to tell me you won’t buy your clothes / furniture just because they are made in China?), their absurdly priced yoga pants (yes, they do cost more than most of my miserable and poorly sized jeans..) and the recent Lululemon murder.

I used to be sponsored by a major sports brand for five years until 2010 and this much I know,

• nothing ever fits me like all Lulus do (yoga tops and pants in glove-fit US size 2 [XXS] = genius!)
• most of their clothes are designed FOR yoga (don’t stink in Ashtanga, don’t ride down in Headstands, no cameltoe in Camel Pose..)
• their shopping bags (sleep on the lead hype already!) make the best grocery bag ever! No contest.
• WORD: reversible pants.
• EVERYONE could learn a thing or two from their manifesto (above title is one of my favourites). Peeps who keep complaining and finding flaws in everyone and everything (Lululemon applies) might want to check and reflect on their self-image #justsaying

And hell HELLO, they make the most wicked ads ever!

I think I’m guilty for 50% of the Shits Yogis Say here..
(Although I’m sure if you asked my husband and my students,
they will say I’m guilty for 95% of them )

As long as they don’t start making Wunder Under in leather, I’m sticking to being a lululemming for now (errr, actually I kind of have to.. Got one too many new tanks and crops from my husband for Christmas) 

Love and happy new year!

..but I have, sort of.. exceptional balance (just because my center of gravity is lower? Or just because..) so that’s alright

I might not believe in Santa

..but I do believe that the Universe will works its way (in ways our wisdom might not ever understand) to send us what we desire and deserve if only we wish and believe hard enough.

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas (if you do celebrate) and
let’s visualize a new year full of opportunities and endless possibilities.

Love and light from a beautiful island far far far away!

Exactly one year ago,
we started off 11 December 2010 with a short Ashtanga practice at sunrise,

Upward dog

Heels over head

..a couple of hours before they pronounced us man and wife.

Above photos by Pretty Peektures

.   .   .   .   .

Yesterday, we celebrated 11 December 2011, 365 days of being married
by hosting an Ashtanga workshop until sunset at Upward, our pride and joy

..and surprised each other by accidentally getting the very same 1-Year Anniversary card for each other.

If that’s not MFEO, I don’t know what else is.

Yoga brought us together and this much I know,
it is yoga that is going to keep us happy and healthy together.
God willing, forever.

This was just last night at Victoria Secret’s 2011 Fashion Show

That VS Angel he kissed at minute 2:16 is also his girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna.
And she’s a yogi too.. *waves white flag*

While we are on a roll, let’s wrap up with this..

via Yogadork

Seriously, let’s move it like Jagger!